write like nobody else is reading

male hairdos

2009-09-14T18:10:36Z

"For the last fucking time: Men cannot have hairdos. Men cannot walk into salons and sit in those big chairs and lean back into a sink while a rich cokehead makes a $200 sculpture on their head. All women know this. That’s why they do this look when you take a picture."

-viceland.com

this is a totally self-gratifying post.

2009-07-09T20:33:12Z

most influential NES games of my youth (in no order):

double dragon
megaman 2 & 3
skate or die
mike tyson's punch-out
paperboy 2
super mario 1 & 2 & 3
legend of zelda
kung-fu
wrestlemania
gi joe
capt america and the avengers
contra

i am posting this ad because...

2009-07-06T06:21:00Z

3. i am quite fond of adidas. i wear a lot of their apparel.
2. this cinematography of this advertisment is extraordinary. (side note: yes, that is David Beckham and Russel Simmons).
1. i love love love this song and love love love the fact that adidas is introducing Frankie Valli and the 4 seasons to a new generation. (of course, it had to happen, based upon the success of this commercial a relatively unknown hip-hop group decided to sample it. fortunately, to their credit, they didn't add or take away too much from the original because the song is already flawless.)

selected FML entries

2009-06-28T18:04:33Z

i don't know what been going on, but lately www.fmylife.com has been really really good. here are some selected entries i really found funny:

Today, I was talking to this girl who I thought was really nice, we were having an amazing conversation, and as we stared deeply in one another's eyes she asked me "Has anyone ever seen you take a shit?". She then began telling me the story of when someone watched her. FML.

Today, my five year old daughter was watching cartoons on TV. Then a Barbie commercial came on. My daughter sang along with the theme song "Be who you want to be, B-A-R-B-I-E." She then turned to me and said "Mom, I want to be a hooker." FML

Today, it's been a few days since I decided to give this girl I like the silent treatment.I've been writing on/off with her for a few weeks, but decided to stop a bit, to seem mysterious. When I logged on Facebook today, her status was "..is so happy that annoying guy has stopped writing to me!" FML.

Today, I got marinara sauce on my new white shirt. I went in my desk for my Tide-To-Go pen and started using it on the spot. Turns out orange highlighters look a lot like Tide-To-Go pens when you don't look closely enough. FML.

Today, it's my birthday and I received a signed vintage Beatles' album from my wife. Awesome right? It's the same album some jerk way over-bidded me for on eBay. That jerk was my wife, using my credit card. FML.

Today, I finally had sex with a girl I've been dating for over a month. Before we got started she told me not to worry about the birth control because she could handle that. So after we finished I asked her what kind of birth control she used. She said she meditated. FML.

Today, I rushed home to tell my parents my girlfriend had accepted my proposal. They asked how I could be so selfish at a time like this. Apparently, Michael Jackson's death is more important than their son. FML.

Today, I found my long lost diary and curiously read it. What's worse than finding out that your mother read your diary? Finding out that your mother wrote comments in it. FML.

Today, I enlisted for The Navy because my Boy Scout leader encouraged me. He fought in Korea and is a real inspiration. I asked him what motivated him to join The Navy. He said he was drunk and didn't remember joining until he was called up. FML.

Today, was my birthday. After hinting for almost 2 months for a Wii, my dad pulls out a shiny new Wii Package. The only problem? The box didn't have a Wii in it. My dad gave me a Wii box with my VCR inside and a note saying "This is life. Once you think you're happy, someone crushes it". FML.

Today, while on the road I saw a turtle in the middle of the other lane. I slammed on my brakes and got out, holding up and pissing off several drivers on both sides of the highway. Getting closer to the turtle, I realized that it was not a turtle at all, but a very large pile of dog shit. FML

no explanation necessary

2009-06-25T22:50:57Z

FAST BREAKING SWINE FLU UPDATE

2009-06-23T21:37:36Z

Ottawa teenager dies of swine flu in CHEO hospital this afternoon. Teenager had chronic health problems (CF? asthma? etc... ?): http://www.ottawacitizen.com/Health/Ottawa+teen+dies+with+swine/1725180/story.html

My dad called and advised me to avoid large crowds of people for a while. I promptly cancelled my movie outing with my friend Danielle for the evening.

The swine flu is still spreading. There have been more than 2,650 confirmed cases of swine flu in Ontario – and more than 5,700 across Canada – but most are considered mild with symptoms very similar to an annual seasonal flu.

This shit is fast acting: http://www.thestar.com/news/canada/article/655062

Just because it is not making news headlines does not mean it is no longer a threat. No, i'm not being overly paranoid - just cautious.

FAST BREAKING NEWS UPDATE

2009-06-22T22:56:15Z

I have just discovered that Sonic Youth is playing in Toronto on June 30th to promote thier new album. So help me God I am going to that fucking show with or without an IV in my arm.

I am so determined I already bought my $65 ticket.

fucked

2009-04-03T01:03:09Z

today was day 4 of tests. it wasn`t so bad. juts inhale some gas and sit inside a machine and take some lung xrays. next, insert something into my veins and xray the blood going through my body. no big deal.

on monday i have to meet with the surgeon who will be doing my transplant. my fake fiance will be expected to be there. problem: my fake fiance doesn`t want to go anymore. she has an important group presentation at the exact same time as the meeting with my surgeon. the group presentation is worth 30% of her grade. talk to the professor and have it deferred? not an option. she claims i am selfish for somehow thinking that me passing the criteria for getting a transplant is more important then her passing the class. i am really fucked right now. there is no way in hell i am going to tell the sugreon my fiance missed out on a meeting with him for a school project.

the problem is that Quebec wants you to have a life mate/be in a long term relationship in order for a tranplant. why? i guess to prove that you have a support system. it's a really stupid rule. so what, no ugly people who are bad with relationships deserve a transplant?

i am most upset with my ex-gf, Cindy O. i feel like she really shafted me considering i told her about this weeks ago. she asked me to tell her the dates she would be needed and i did. now she suddenly remembers she has an exam on that day. fuck. i am really really upset right now. apparently i am the selfish one in all of this.

if the tables were turned, i'd be there for her in a second. one time she fucked up her knee while walking around downtown and i skipped out on my job early (told them i had to go to pharmacy) just to pick her up and drive her home. other times when we were dating she'd call on me to pick her up at parties and stuff and would throw massive guilt trips if i didn't show up. she's also asked me to support her at concerts and etc and i'd always be there (except for that one time on St Jean Baptiste day when i had too many Tylenol 3s). someday she's going to need me again but i won't be there. because i'll be dead. because she never showed up for that motherfucking surgeon's appointment to screen me in for a transplant. fuck.

*update* now she's threatening to call the hospital and tell them she was lying all along. yep, my ex-gf, she's a real class act.

I've been watching Rushmore

2009-01-13T18:52:58Z

"When one man, for whatever reason, has the opportunity to lead an extraordinary life, he has no right to keep it to himself."

-Jacques Cousteau

For good journal entries, write like nobody else is reading.

2009-01-03T11:51:22Z

"For attractive lips,
Speak words of kindness.

For lovely eyes,
Seek out the good in people.

For a slim figure,
Share your food with the hungry.

For beautiful hair,
Let a child run his/her fingers through it once a day.

For poise,
Walk with the knowledge that you never walk alone."

-Audrey Hepburn said this

quotes to live by

2008-09-01T00:40:27Z

"conquer your greatest fears and you will conquer death."
-some movie trailer i saw this weekend

happy birthday to me.

Batman: the dark knight

2008-07-16T16:29:08Z

Just 3 minutes ago i have decided that i want to see the new Batman film, Batman: the Dark Knight, in IMAX.

As. Soon. As. Humanly. Possible.

i found this list on amazon.com and it looks pretty good

2008-06-17T23:17:14Z

The Greatest Records Ever Made!

1. Loveless by My Bloody Valentine

2. Twice Removed by Sloan

3. Pink Moon by Drake, Nick

4. Revolver [UK] by Beatles, The

5. Return to Cookie Mountain by TV on the Radio

6. In Utero by Nirvana

7. I'm with Stupid by Mann, Aimee

8. 21 Singles by Jesus & Mary Chain

9. Singles by Smiths, The

10. The Head on the Door by Cure, The

11. Quiet Is the New Loud by Kings of Convenience

12. Freak*on*ica by Girls Against Boys

13. Woodface by Crowded House

14. Dots and Loops by Stereolab

15. Rings Around the World by Super Furry Animals

16. The Photo Album by Death Cab For Cutie

17. Parklife by Blur

18. Dog Man Star by Suede

19. Chutes Too Narrow by Shins, The

20. The Beach Boys: Pet Sounds by Beach Boys, The

21. Between 10th and 11th by Charlatans UK

22. XTRMNTR by Primal Scream

23. The Stone Roses by Stone Roses

24. Life by Cardigans

25. Grand Prix by Teenage Fanclub

i agree with 9 of the 10 albums i recognize on this list. the rest of these albums i am not familiar with. anyone have anything to say? agree or disagree?

Robert Benchley sure puts me in my place

2008-06-09T19:28:46Z

Defining and analyzing humor is a pastime of humorless people.

Robert Benchley (1889 - 1945)